Don’t Sweat the Technique: Flipping the Script of Resistance
Updated: Sep 11, 2019
-Me Pictured With My Daughter (age 2 @ the time)
I took a survey recently to hear what friends and followers believe is the best 4 words of advice. A wonderful list evolved (shared at the bottom of this blog) that I will definitely be referring to for myself and that hopefully others will find supportive in their lives! Of course, there are so many more wonderful phrases that aren’t mentioned but this list is a great start! Advice is a remembered wisdom. It is a supportive offering of mantra or affirmation that rings truth during growth (awakening). I have taught workshops and led therapy groups centered around the importance and use of affirmations for this reason… And let me assure you when used properly, WORDS work! They awaken, heal, and attract the qualities we desire in our lives. Accept or Resist Desires: We are either accepting or resisting what we want in our lives through our use of words and what we tell ourselves. Unless we’re paying close attention to what we are saying, there’s a good chance we don’t even know our words are the culprit of self sabotage. So how do we activate our acceptance to what it is we want? An effective way is through the imagination. The imagination (past memories, day dreams, and visions for the future) has the power to attach emotions to the stories we tell ourselves. Imagination is so powerful that the brain cannot differentiate what is actual from what is perceived. You can learn about this through my intensive 6 week course Dissolving the Walls of Limitations where we dive into the imagination to loosen our grip on limiting beliefs. WE can teach ourselves to invite and accept what it is we desire when we align desirable emotions as personal Truths. Your Words, Your Future: Perhaps you can recall the moment you learned to ride a bicycle. The imagination takes you back to this memory and the emotions attached to it, activating the phrase “I did it”. Well, your imagination can also take you into the future with this memory. Attempting a new task or adventure by calling on that familiar bicycle message of “I did it” to motivate you with the emotional confidence that “I can do it again and some more!” Again, its not just the words alone that determine your path, its also the emotions attached to them. On the flip side perhaps you can recall a time when you were not included in a group of people. Your imagination flashes on your side of the story and emotionally attaches to it the message of “I am not enough”. Pretty potent. So now, going into an engaged group setting is prone to trigger the message of “I am not enough” as a means for protecting and debilitating you from your potential. Again, powerful stuff going on here!!! Resistance Just Got a Smack Down: I’ve been holding a grudge when it comes to making my daughter’s school lunches. It feels like a daunting task. She rarely eats what I give her and it upsets me. But then this morning I had an "AHA" moment.... I don’t want to feel “daunted” so I'm turning my internal message into “IS what IT is". I’m not going to be attached to the outcome of this situation. I flashed on the idea of this task being so easy and successful having nothing to do with what she does with her lunch. In this act of pronouncing my new affirmation, I literally felt a release in my resistance to what she does with her lunch. I will continue to provide healthy options that I know she is okay with and I will practice letting go. If during my personal routine, I can go all morning fasting, I know that in the worst of all cases, she'll survive too 😝. So there I have it, when I feel that grudge or daunting feeling slip up, I can say “AHA! This lunch thing IS what IT is” and come back to my intentions of freedom and ease. Words are MAGIC This message… “IS what IT is”…is a potent form of acceptance. *When we feel under- or overwhelmed with daily tasks, what other words can we say to help us surrender our control of getting things done a certain way? *In relationships where the other person continues to do the things we don't want, what other words can we say to shift our involvement? *What message can we call on to accept what we desire in these situations? When we catch ourselves in reactive states (and you'll know cuz it feels funky) our affirmations open us to forgiveness and gratitude. Forgiving ourselves for having been unaware. And gratitude for being aware at this moment! This is the fine line between staying in old sh@# and shifting into magikkkkkkk. And I dunno about y'all but I'm down with magic. Watch me work on this whole “IS what IT is” with Chava's lunch and start having her come home having eaten her entire lunch... OR better yet I stop giving a sh@# about what she does with her lunch and feel freeeeee and in flow. When we live in this magic, funny things like that start to happen. The stagnant or forced energy starts to balance out again and people/situations begin to respond. She may begin to feel hungry at school and attracted to her food options. She may begin to speak up and ask me to provide specific types of meals we both agree on. I may begin to align to her needs and desires as it serves us both in a new fulfilling way. It’s all in my power to create the situation I want to attract… which is truly freedom and ease! Flip the Script: 1. Choose an unpleasant task in your daily routine 2. What undesired feelings come up around this? 3. What would you rather feel? 4. What mantra or affirmation resonates with what you want? 5. Include this mantra as part of your daily routine 4(ish) Words of Advice (Thank you friends n family!): “Do the right thing” “Let go, let God” “This too shall pass” “Take responsibility” “See God instead” “When in doubt, Dance” “Evaluate with love always” “IS what IT is” Tips with Affirmations: Say them present tense and active. *Avoid “May I…”, “I wish…”, “I can or will…” *Try “I am…”, “This is…” Say them in the positive (shift the tone and the connotations). *Avoid “I am not…”, “I no longer…” *Try “I am… (the opposite of what I am not)”, “I now… (do the oppositie of what I no longer did)” Sophia Brody, MA merges the teachings of psychology with the responsibility and wonder of living beyond identity through Transpersonal Life Coaching. Learn more about loosening your attachment to limitations through Sophia’s intensive course Dissolving the Walls of Limitations or contact her for sessions through www.transpersonalmuse.com.