There’s No Such Thing As Too Much, Or Is There?
Have you ever been told you were too much? Too excited, anxious, overbearing? Too loud, curious, vocal? My answer is a definite yes, and my inner voice reactions to these accusations has typically been a “f#%* you”. The bummer is that even in my tough defensive mode, there is still a part of me that clings onto this judgement.
Thinking that we’re too much or not enough is a symptom of self doubt. And the message is telling us that being too much is in fact not being enough of it’s counterpart. And that in itself tells us this lie that we are lacking.
Often its others who notice or point this out for us before we catch on. We are told “you’re too forward” which translates to “you’re not reserved enough”. “You are too quiet” meaning “you don’t speak up enough”. Or “you dress to conservative” turns into “you‘re not sexy enough”.
When we sit with these messages it really messes with our internal value system. So much emphasis is on how we are being assessed. Even the way we asses ourselves in this illusion of lack is in reference to how much of us others will tolerate.
The internalized message of too much/not enough becomes symptoms of our disconnection from source. When we start telling ourselves these messages “I’m too much of this/not enough of that”, we lose touch with what it is to be in alignment. We've lost our bearings with our integrity and it feels bad.
When Too Much Is A Bad Thing
When we are ready to feel aligned and in the zone of good things coming- then our value system requires our attention so that we can compost the symptoms and switch gears.
What to look for:
-Survivors guilt... it’s like saying “This is all too good- I don’t deserve this compared to those less fortunate...”. Too much of anything is overwhelming. Sends us in a spiral of imbalances where aspects of our energy is compromised.
-Questioning our worth... it’s like saying “how do I adjust myself to feel loved and accepted?” Who I am is not enough or too much- which doesn't feel safe. In order to be received, I must abandon some of my power so I can tolerate what doesn’t feel good.
When Too Much Is A Good Thing:
Receiving Love that is equal to our source is the antidote to survivors guilt or self doubt. And guess what, there is no such thing as too much love to receive.
How to receive:
Ask yourself whether everything that seems to bring you more luck than you think you deserve in fact feels good to receive? Does it feel aligned with the things your really want? Does it honor your vision and expression? If the answer is yes, then receive this feeling of goodness. This is love. This is self love. There’s no such thing as receiving too much of this goodness.
Ask yourself if tolerating others for the sake of a relationship, honor your vision and expression? Does toning yourself down or revving yourself up feel aligned with what you want? If the answer is no, then compost this faulty compromise. Treat yourself to something that does feel good. That feels aligned. This is self love. There is no such thing as too much clearing out of what feels bad/not in alignment. Again, this is self love.
Self love is your source. It is the link to compassion. To be able to tend your garden so you may share your fruits in a space of mutual loving kindness, respect and acceptance.
Sophia Brody, MA combines her mastery of psychology with the healing arts. She helps clients clarify their purpose, to actualize their intentions and live in their potential.