Party in the Baño: Extracting the Pains of Rejection
(excuse the graphics)
I was in the bathroom the other day and like most ”aha” moments, this is when it hit me. Makes sense I’d be open to receive insight and wisdom in the place I do my extracting and purging.
The bathroom is probably one of the most sacred spaces in the home... a place we go to fully be our selves...naked and exposed. Where we undress and cleanse ourselves of the dirt and grime we’ve gathered. Where we eliminate the remains of our day. Where we rinse our healing hands, polish the portal of expression, and prepare our masks with a clean slate.
This powerful ritual is done everyday! Multiple times a day for most, and I’m gonna place a bet that most of us are on autopilot throughout it, myself included! But who here can vouch for those aha moments in this space??? I know I’m not alone. How many times have you been in the shower and the best idea or answer to a problem hits you?
My aha moment came from a deeply protected place inside me. Go figure I heard it’s message on the pot... this echo coming from an empty cave. Like the recall of a dream, I woke to what seemed a lifetime of insight crammed in a flash.
Once I acknowledged the emotion, a wave of layers began shedding away with the stream of also going #1. (I warned you about the graphics).
Here I am waking up to these layers. This fear. Rejection.
I am entering a stage in my life where I’m really putting my heart and soul out there. Offering my gifts in a service of coaching and educating people through a Transpersonal life... this is not a typical coaching style... this is an initiation into a lifestyle of being woke. And with everything I have done, the years I have studied, applied, and prepped to be in this position, I am now ready for the next stage... attracting a steady flow of paying clients.
And then this fear creeps up. What if... “they“ reject me.
My rational mind knows this fear is ridiculous. I have been working with clients for a few years now through a diverse array of services. Offering Shamanic journeys, coaching sessions, creative expressive enrichment workshops, course work of dissolving limitations, and so much more.
The difference with what I have been doing up until now is that my services were free or by donation. This next stage I’m claiming includes a consistent income. I am worthy and I have seen the amazing ways my gifts have served others.
And then... I find myself in the baño and I get hit.
This fear of rejection calls out. And you know what? It is a false story that quickly takes me to all the times I turned this pain around and projected it onto others. All the times I rejected others. When I decided I didn’t want to include or engage because of this or that.
But here’s the thing... this rejection has had nothing to do with anyone else or even the fact I would be “rejected” or “reject” others. It has everything to do with the attitude I place on my experiences. In this case I was led to the attitude I place on my rejection of others...and as far as others are concerned, I’m not responsible for them feeling rejected by me...that is their attitude (plus I’m not that powerful!).
I’m going to repeat this message in the present tense because this is BIG. My pain has nothing to do with being rejected or rejecting others. Why? Because rejection doesn’t exist in our being. It is not who we ARE. Rejection is a false story. It has everything to do with the attitude placed on the engagement of what we’re doing or not doing! This attitude is a little #%**. And she is getting my attention.
So as I sit on the pot I thank her. I don’t judge her (well I started to) cuz it takes me right back into the cycle of rejection which I’m trying to wake from. Instead I thank her for speaking up and I catch a wave of tender compassion. All this in 1 minute y’all!!! And let me tell you something, not once did my thoughts try to weasel in and take over or manipulate. I just sat on that pot watching this whole thing break itself down, literally and metaphorically speaking.
So what do I do with this? What do I do with this voice?
From here on out, I ask her to remind me during times in my life to catch my attitude when I’m inclusive or exclusive towards others. This is my practice. And when I do this I can choose whether to bring some compassion to how I’m interpreting my actions or if I want fall back on that bitchy inner voice. More on this hit me up... this is a big and wonderful process of “aha“ especially if you resonate with the experience of rejection.
*This is the path I commit to as a coach... I help my clients pinpoint these types of ‘aha’ moments and set up an inviting practice to hold themselves accountable.
The last thing I would like to offer from this story is this: If you don’t already, try placing a token in your bathroom as a reminder that this space is sacred. Invite the aspects of yourself into this space. Make it a party for awakening and reclaiming your sacred self! I keep my vision board in front of my toilet...can you guess why? Obviously I am absorbing it’s wisdom during these very private and exposed times. But I have to say I really think this visual helped support my unfolding. Afterall moments like these are a big part of my vision that I’m manifesting!
Comments, questions, or curious to learn more?
Sophia Brody, MA is a Transpersonal Life coach and educator who offers mindful and intuitive guidance with her clients.